Who needs adventure? Rephrase. Who, among those to whom I gave birth needs adventure? Seriously. Now I know why so many mothers drink. Alot. My big idea of adventure is stepping from the California aisle at Premier Liquors to the Argentine aisle and trying a new red. Or maybe shopping at Forever 21 without one of my daughters (forget how gd big the place is - I just don't like people staring at me with that, "Isn't she a little old to be in this place?" look on their face. I know the look so well because it's usually plastered across mine as I follow the girls through the rows of clothing and watch the other women my age and older believe it or not, cooing over 80's stuff that I wouldn't even wear in the 80's. Breakfast Club anyone?), though that probably wouldn't qualify as adventure so much as an I really shouldn't have had that second shot of tequila before lunch-type lack in judgment.

I'm just really freaking a little over the thought of Kimmy going to South Africa in a few weeks. It's not like she's not going with people who've been there before. Her boyfriend and his brother are from there. They know where to go and what to do. It's not the 17 hour flight - after the 90 minute one from Phoenix to San Francisco and the 5 hour one from San Fran to JFK in New York - though, God, I cannot imagine wanting to go somewhere badly enough to fly a whole frigging day. I'm hoping to get my courage up enough one day (and procuring a valium prescription from my doctor) to fly to Europe. Kimmy said, "Mommy, what would you do if I decided to stay in South Africa?" Ha ha. Funny kid. I said, "It would be ugly, Kimberly Jean Josephine, damned ugly. Just imagine me flying for 17 hours. Imagine my state of mind getting off that plane, knowing that once I retrieved your sorry ass I had to get back on and fly home." She said it was a joke. I said it better be.

It's just - Africa. Lions, tigers, snakes that could eat my house, mosquitoes bigger than my head. At first I thought, well it's not like they'll be camping out. Yeah. They'll be camping out. Oh, and, "Maybe bungee jumping at Victoria Falls, Mom." Nothing like a close up look. Everyone whose children are NOT going to Africa keep saying it's a Once In A Lifetime Trip. For them maybe - the lucky bastards whose offspring are content to stay a little closer to home. This is my adventurer child, though and I know this is only the beginning. There's talk of teaching in South America, though I keep trying to pretend I don't hear her when she talks about it.

When I wonder aloud where Kim got this sort of desire, my husband (at his peril, let me tell you) states calmly, "Uh, this is your fault, Lorie." My fault? "Well sure. Who told her - told all the kids for that matter - that anything they want to do is possible. When Kim was 4 and asked why women can't be priests, who told her it was a stupid damn rule and she could fight to change it if she wanted?" heh heh...... "Who stood up to the principal at the junior high, in front of the entire office staff and a dozen or so students including our daughter, when she blamed Kimmy for some crap Kimmy didn't do and demanded that the old bat apologize? Who turned down a request from the same principal that Kim reciprocate, with the statement - and I quote - 'When hell freezes?'" point taken..... "Who has told her since she was born about the cross country trips you took as a kid and how much you love to travel." point taken..... "Who let her go to Hawaii and California and New York city before she was even out of high school?" Fine! Jeez, who can remember all this stuff..................

....And anyway, the point is moot. She's going. To Africa. I'll be drinking. Constantly. I told Kimmy that I am happy for her and, truly I am. It's just - I wish I could put one of those leash/harness things for toddlers on her and all her siblings so that when I think they're going too far I could sorta yank them back. She said, "No worries, Mom. You have your heart strings and we'll be tangled up in those for the rest of our lives." Awwww - I think.

So, on December 26th, as my child wings her way around the world, I'll raise a glass (bottle) of, who knows, maybe a South African wine and toast my crazy, courageous daughter and her adventure.........She better bring me a really good present.